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Three paths to the bimah: Women become b'not mitzvah at Newington temple

By Cindy Mindell

A year ago, eight adult congregants of Temple Sinai in Newington met with Rabbi Jeffrey Bennett to discuss what it would take to become a bar- or bat-mitzvah. On Saturday, May 22, three of those students will make their way to the bimah to complete the process. Along with her tallit and her dvar-Torah, each will be carrying the story of her unique journey to the Torah, decades past the milestone traditionally celebrated at age 13.

“At 13, I was getting kicked out of Catholic school,” says Carol (CJ) Hauss of Avon, who grew up in the Catholic church in her native New Jersey. The executive director of Literacy Volunteers of Greater Hartford says that, at age 53, she thought it would be a challenge to become a bat mitzvah.
“It was just something I wanted to do,” Hauss says. “I converted in 1983 and have been pretty active in Jewish life. I raised two kids, they went to Hebrew school, and now that one has graduated college and one is in college, it’s time.”
Hauss and her family joined Temple Sinai eight years ago. “Last year, I called Rabbi Bennett and said, ‘This is something I’d like to do. Either talk me into it or talk me out of it.'” Bennett, who received several similar calls, decided to start a class.
For Hauss, the year-long process has reconnected her to her spiritual roots. “When you first convert, a lot of what you’re trying to do is assimilate,” she says. “But this has given me the opportunity to reconcile my position in the Jewish community with having grown up in a different community, and to try to blend those two experiences and commitments together.”
When she was 13, Raquel Levin was growing up in Cuba, where her family belonged to a Sephardic congregation. In 1962, at age 25, she immigrated to the U.S. with her husband and five-month-old daughter, Becky, settling in Newington.
The family joined Temple Sinai in 1979. In deference to her Orthodox parents, Raquel didn’t encourage Becky to celebrate her bat mitzvah while they were still alive. But 11 years ago, the then-37-year-old became an adult bat mitzvah at Temple Sinai, preparing with Bennett every Friday night after services.
“She was after me all the time,” Levin says. “She said, ‘If I can do it, you can do it too.’ Then my sister’s daughter, an adult with kids, had her bat mitzvah in Boston. “I never thought I would do it because of the way I grew up, but I’m very close with [congregant] Rita Miller and she said, ‘Let’s do it,’ so I finally decided to do it.”
Levin, 73, is serving her second term as president of the Temple Sinai Sisterhood. She learned some Hebrew as a girl and while teaching in a multi-lingual Jewish day school in Havana. Working with Bennett and Cantor Donna Gordon, she has learned to read Hebrew without vowels.
On May 22, the Levins will be joined by Raquel’s brother and sister-in-law from Florida; her sister, who lives in Newington; and her sister’s children, who will come in from Boston.
Three decades ago, Rita Miller was inspired by a banner. She saw it at a Marriage Encounter weekend with husband Arnie, and it read, “God doesn’t make junk.” That was the weekend that changed her life, as she made her way from timid to tenacious.
Thirty-something years later, her journey led her to the Temple Sinai adult b’nai mitzvah class, where she was again reassured that she was good enough, this time by Bennett.
Along the way, she has served as chair of the Temple Sinai membership committee and vice-chair of the capital campaign. A practice manager at a sleep-disorder center, Miller was diagnosed 12 years ago with breast cancer, which resulted in five years of multiple surgeries. “I backed off from a lot of my activities,” she says. “I looked at my life, at what was most important to me.”
There were regular notices in the temple bulletin announcing adult b’nei-mitzvah classes, and Arnie would encourage Rita each time to sign up.
“I have a learning disability, and I can’t focus or retain information,” she says. “But last May, I walked into that first meeting and announced, ‘I have ADD, so if I don’t make it, I can consider this a learning experience and back out.’ But I didn’t back out.”
Miller credits Bennett for helping her persist. “He is the most positive individual, the ultimate cheerleader,” she says. “Even if I made a mistake, he would correct it in a way that never made me feel like I’d failed.”
On May 22, Miller will celebrate her bat mitzvah to mark her 70th birthday and “to put closure to cancer and a lot of other things in my life that I know I’m now beyond,” she says. “I am grateful and hopeful.”
When she takes her place on the bimah alongside her two “bat mitzvah sisters,” as she calls Hauss and Levin, she will be wearing a new tallit, handcrafted in Israel.”
“The congregation is celebrating our bat mitzvah like it’s one of theirs,” says Hauss, whose guests will include her mother and two grown children, her friends and co-workers. “My kids’ friends, who were at their bar- and bat-mitzvahs, are coming,” she says, “and they can’t help themselves; they’ve been asking, ‘Will there be a theme? Will there be motivators? Will there be a sundae bar?'”


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