By Stacey Dresner

WEST HARTFORD – When Elfriede Bernstein turned 100, she said she wanted to live to be 105 to get even with the Nazis. She turned 105 last year.

Now, on Dec. 25, Elfriede will turn 106 with her family by her side. This includes her son Victor Bernstein and his wife, Lieba, of Windsor, her two grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.

A former resident of New London, Elfriede now resides at Hebrew Senior Care in West Hartford. Born Elfriede Mann in Frankfurt, Germany in 1913, her father, Victor, was a hat manufacturer and her mother, Louise, was a housewife. 

As a young woman, Elfriede, who was the youngest of three daughters, became an accomplished seamstress. In the mid-1930s, however, she was forced out of her job for the high crime of being a Jew. In 1936, the Manns managed to get their daughters and son-in-law out of Germany and to New York. Elfriede was 23 at the time. 

Her parents, who stayed in Germany, perished during the Holocaust. “They said, ‘We have the factory. We know the police. This will go away.’ And then it was too late,” says Victor Bernstein.

“When she came here she worked at Bergdorf Goodman making wedding dresses,” Victor says. “She was a master seamstress, she did unbelievable work.” 

Elfriede had relatives in New London who invited her to stay with them. There, she met Sol Bernstein, an architect for the military stationed at the submarine base. They were married and settled in New London where they raised Victor and his older brother, Michael, and became active members of Congregation Beth El.

She also continued to sew. After she married, Elfriede still made and altered  wedding dresses free of charge for friends and family. In the ‘60s and ‘70s she became skilled in needlepoint and embroidery, creating much of the needlework artwork in her synagogue.

Even after her husband died when he was in his 60s, Elfriede remained active, traveling the world, and playing mah jongg and bridge. 

“She attended shul often in her later years, the seniors there were all ‘Minyanaires,’” Lieba says. “She engaged with the group. She even took tai chi at the synagogue.”

Lieba believes that it was her active lifestyle that has helped Elfriede live such a long life.

“I think it was being engaged and having good friends and caring about others,” Lieba says. “If she knew somebody was coming for dinner, she always knew what they liked and she made sure she served it. She is a kind, warm lady.”

Maybe too warm, Victor adds.

“Somebody once mentioned they loved [her] candlesticks,” Victor recalls. “They were expensive. I came home and the candlesticks were gone. She said, ‘Oh, Sheila loved them, I thought they would look so nice in her house!’”

Today, Elfriede is frail and must use a wheelchair. At one point she was put on hospice care, but was taken off.

“It’s amazing how many times she has bounced back,” said Victor, who visits his mother at least three times a week.

The family – which includes Elfriede’s two grandchildren: Steven Bernstein and his wife, Ilana, who live in West Hartford with their two children; and Robert Bernstein and his wife, Esther, who live in Framingham, Mass. with their three children – has always gotten together to celebrate her birthday. Since it takes place on December 25, the family for many years celebrated with dinner at – where else? – a Chinese restaurant. Then, one year they decided to go to the casinos near her home in New London. They had so much fun they did it several times.

“We had everybody there singing “Happy Birthday” to her,” Victor laughs.

This year, the Bernsteins will gather at the Hebrew Center to celebrate with Elfriede and the beloved nurses and aides that Victor says care so much for his mom.

“They just love her. It’s her sweetness and caring,” he says.

Main Photo: Elfriede Bernstein with her great-granson, Ezra Bernstein.