MySpace, our problem
By Sharon Estroff

Do you remember "Lord of the Flies"? You know the book we read in junior high about a bunch of British schoolboys who get stranded on a desert island without a stitch adult supervision. Remember how at first those marooned children were having a ball basking in the sun and in their parent-free bliss; but before long they were setting wildfires ablaze and savagely mauling one another? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but "Lord of the Flies" is currently being reenacted by millions of modern kids who are putting themselves in dire jeopardy and emotionally mauling one another on a parent-impoverished island called MySpace.com.
MySpace.com is an insanely popular, completely KEWL social networking website. Generally speaking, every teen in America has a MySpace page, and every tween in America wants to have one. As testament, the cover story in a recent issue of Business Week Magazine was titled the "MySpace Generation". 
Having heard rumblings about the dangers of MySpace, I decided to find out what this virtual beast was really made of by going undercover as a teenage MySpace member. Here's what I found during my Nancy Drewstein investigation:
An email address and a cyberswear that I was at least 14 years of age was all it took to get me into the MySpace network of "friends" which, as of press time, is broaching 70 million.  Unsure of how to acquaint myself with all my new pals, I narrowed my circle to include only MySpace members living within a 25 mile radius of my zip code.  Still overwhelmed, I used MySpace's advanced search capabilities to further limit my scope. Given the choice of searching by real name, screen name or school, I opted for the latter. Given another choice of searching schools with grades 1-12, 6-12 or 9-12, I opted for the former.  Milliseconds later I had 154 matches from a swanky private prep school in my hometown. Randomly double clicking on one of the names, I immediately had more scoop on a girl named Rachel than I had on my closest friends.  Maybe even my husband.  
Based on Rachel's MySpace profile, I know her full name and that - while she claims to be 14 - her posted graduation date puts her closer to 12.  I know her favorite pizza topping (pineapple), ice cream flavor (cookie dough) and song ("My Humps," which is conveniently blasting from her page). As far as Rachel's favorite personal physical feature goes, it's anybody's guess because "they are all so good!"  
Based on Rachel's MySpace blog (a.k.a. her online diary) I know that as of yesterday, she thinks Nick Lachey is hot, but Nick in her math class is hotter.  She thinks Ace should be the next American Idol (she voted for him 17 times last night) and her ex-best friend Amanda is a #%@!.  Mostly, Rachel can't wait for Saturday night because she and her girlfriends (minus Amanda, of course) are going to Dave and Buster's. 
Oh by the way, I also know that Rachel is on MySpace right now, so if I wanted to become her friend, I could tack on a picture of myself and pop in to say hi. Of course, I wouldn't tack on a picture of my real self (Rachel would never want to talk to someone as uncool and ancient as me!); I'd tack on a picture of someone young, hip and 14 - just like her (wink, wink). That way, she might invite me to go to Dave and Buster's on Saturday night, too! (And thanks to all the pictures Rachel's posted of herself, I'll be able to find her easily.)  
I emerged from my undercover MySpace investigation not only worried about Rachel's safety but feeling horribly sad for her. Rachel didn't set up a MySpace page because she's an out of control tween who should make a beeline to boot camp.  She did it because she is a typical kid - short on judgment, lacking perspective and obsessed with the social scene.   A typical 12 year old girl who never in a million years would imagine that in fudging her age and displaying every ounce of her personal data on MySpace.com, she'd parked herself smack dab in the middle of an internet predator's Disneyland and a cyberbullying cesspool (and may even be risking her college admission down the road as many universities are now checking MySpace pages to gain the real scoop on applicants).      
In case your memory is a tad fuzzy, I'll remind you that at the end of "Lord of the Flies" the schoolboys are finally rescued by British officers who ruthlessly scold them for their irresponsible and reprehensible behavior. As the children receive this tongue lashing, they weep uncontrollably.  Not out of fear of punishment, but in relief of being once again wrapped in the secure and predictable confines of adult boundaries and direction. 
My intent in exposing the problems with MySpace is not to demonstrate how savage, short-sighted and negligent modern kids can be. But to enable us as modern parents to recognize the smoke signals our children are sending and afford them the opportunity they deserve to exist in a cyber-civilization swathed, at last, in parental rules and supervision.

Keeping kids safe on MySpace.com

With a fast-rising number of reported MySpace-related incidents including child solicitations, abductions and even murders, cybersafety experts say it's critical for parents to educate kids in the following MySpace "nevers": 
a.. Never lie about your age.
Never post personal information that might enable a stranger to find you. (i.e. last name, school, address, hometown or favorite hangouts). 
b. Never post photos that are suggestive or sexual in nature. 
c. Never post photos that provide hints to where you live (i.e. a sweatshirt with your school name, a baseball hat with your hometown team logo or nearby landmarks.) 
d. Never add someone you don't personally know and trust to your "friends" list. 
e. Never arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone you "meet" on MySpace. 
f. Never hesitate to report threatening, embarrassing or otherwise disconcerting MySpace messages to parents or the police. 
Finally, if you know your teen (or suspect your tween) is active on MySpace, you may want to consider installing MySpace monitoring software like NetNanny 5.1, IamBigBrother9.1 and EBlaster 5.0. Don't think of it a spying on your kids - you don't have to scrutinize their every MySpace minute - Think of it as parenting.

Sharon Estroff is a nationally syndicated writer.