The Behrend Leadership Institute takes root in Stamford
By Cindy Mindell

STAMFORD - Stephne and Kerrin Behrend grew up in one of the most vibrant Jewish communities in modern history. Natives of South Africa n Stephne from Port Elizabeth, Kerrin from Durban n the couple uses the word “cohesive” over and over again to describe the world they left behind nearly 30 years ago. 
Between 1890 and 1930, 100,000 Jews n 80 percent of the country's Jewish population -- immigrated to South Africa from five towns in Lithuania. It was a very tight and homogenous community, Stephne says -- “We all knew all the same 'lach' foods n kreplach, kneidlach n and it was extremely Zionistic.” At its peak of 120,000, the Jews of South Africa boasted the world's highest per-capita giving to Israel in the 1970s, and consistently raised the second-largest amount for Israel, just behind donations from the American Jewish community.
“As kids growing up, we learned Hebrew, a Zionist focus, and the Jewish traditions, and celebrated all the Jewish holidays at home,” says Stephne. “Everybody was Orthodox, nominally; we didn't have denominational extremes or fragmentation. There was a small Reform community and everyone else was Orthodox. There was the main synagogue, the three Jewish youth organizations, the one cheder. It was a much more cohesive community, which worked to everyone's benefit.”
Like many South African Jews, the Behrends decided to leave in the late '70s when the political situation became intolerable. They immigrated first to Canada, then to Brooklyn and Westchester, finally settling in Stamford in the late '80s. 
And they brought their love of the Jewish community with them. This year, with the help of the United Jewish Federation of Greater Stamford, New Canaan and Darien, the Behrends established a new community leadership institute. The very first group of 19 participants launched the program in early September. Nominated by synagogues and Jewish agencies throughout greater Stamford, the participants “have great potential for effective leadership, but have yet to serve in leadership capacities in the Jewish community,” says Eve Nachman, director of the new program. “We are so excited and charged about the initiative. It's so important to plan for the next generation of leaders.”
“Part of my motivation comes from growing up in a community where my parents were involved n my father was president of B'nai B'rith; my mother was involved in WIZO,” says Kerrin. “I'm a strong believer in Jewish identity, and the need to maintain and build that identity through having a strong Jewish community. The community is only as strong as its leadership, and it doesn't just happen n a few thousand Jews living in a community doesn't make it happen; it's a function of having the time and the will to do it.”
The Behrends themselves are beneficiaries of a Jewish lay-leadership program run by the Federation in the late '80s.
“It was a wonderful way to learn about the Jewish community, and to understand Jewish philanthropy,” says Stephne, and a way for the South African émigrés to connect with their new community.
As a result, the couple became more involved in the local Jewish community. To address a lack of Jewish teen programming, they funded activities at Temple Beth El after their son's bar mitzvah in the late '90s. Soon after, they helped reignite a JCC-based, community-wide teen program with a group of local Jewish philanthropists. 
They have both served at Bi-Cultural Day School and the UJF, and, says Stephne, “Kerrin has been on every executive board in town,” including the UJF, the Jewish Community Endowment Foundation, and most recently, the 2006 JCC Maccabi Games.
In December 2004, the Behrends and the UJF began looking at successful models of leadership initiatives in other communities around the country.
“But we didn't just come along and say, 'Let's start a leadership program,'” says Kerrin. Rather, the idea to develop a strong base of lay leadership had emerged from the longterm strategic plan forged by UJF three years ago. 
Before they were prepared to commit, Kerrin says, “we wanted to make sure there was community-wide support. UJF had to speak to each agency in the community, assess its needs, and ensure its support, because the agencies are the ones who see the people who are potentially leaders in their organizations -- parents of kids at nursery or day school, volunteers. We want these people to be the beneficiaries of the program.”
The Behrends insisted on high-quality speakers, to stimulate participants and enliven discussion.
“When we did the leadership program in the '80s, we went out of a spirit of community, and it was social because we were new, but we weren't looking for a quid pro quo,” says Kerrin. “The sense today is that people in their 30s and 40s participate in community things, but there needs to be a quid pro quo. Because of time constraints and commitments, they have to feel they're getting something of value out of it.” United Jewish Communities, the umbrella organization of all U.S. Jewish federations, served as consultant, and was “very helpful in pointing out that aspect,” says Kerrin. 
The Behrends hope their new initiative will help create a more cohesive and strong Jewish community long into the future.
Says Stephne, “I've always loved the notion, 'My father planted a tree for his children, so I will plant a tree for mine.”