Jewish Ledger | 1-27-2012

By Cindy Mindell ~

The Emunotes entertain at Devorah and Michal’s bat mitzvah

WESTPORT — Shlomo Kessel has a lot of stories to tell. Kessel is the executive director of the Emunah Sarah Herzog Children’s Center, a residential and after-school therapeutic campus for at-risk children in Afula, Israel. For each child he shelters from an abusive or negligent home, he hears stories – from Israeli social services, from parents, from the children themselves.
And then there are the new stories woven at the center, more hopeful and promising: the boy who stops having nightmares, the girl who finally aces a test at school.
Kessel well knows that it takes a village to craft new lives for these children. In addition to Israeli government assistance, the center relies primarily on private donations to run programs and provide therapy and basic material needs. It is a beneficiary of several Jewish federations throughout the U.S., including UJA/Federation Westport Weston Wilton Norwalk and UJA Federation of Greenwich. Emunah, a worldwide Jewish women’s organization after which the center is named, is a major donor.
The center is also the type of place that inspires friendships between its residents and American Jews who learn about the center through their involvement with Jewish federations, or who meet Kessel when he visits the region, often with residents or former residents of the center.
Over the last few years, several Connecticut individuals and families have “adopted” children at the center through the Keep @n Touch program started and managed by Rachel Kessel.

Manny and Bonnie Lobel hosted their “adopted” Israeli children – (left to right) Bar, Ofir and Noah — at their Trumbull home.

Established in 1949 to provide a haven for young Holocaust survivors, the center works with children aged five to 18 and their families, offering a wide range of therapies, educational support, parental guidance, and physical and medical treatment. The children suffer from learning disabilities, emotional problems, and challenging behavior, and many have difficulty forming meaningful relationships with adults and other children.
Kessel, a social worker and South African native, has run the facility since 2003, when he moved to the campus with his wife Rachel and four children. Over those eight years, the facility’s population has grown from 65 to 190.
Over the last decade, the center has partnered with several Jewish federations in Connecticut, members of SNEC, the Southern New England Consortium of 12 Jewish federations in Connecticut and Massachusetts.
The SNEC communities are paired with the Afula-Gilboa region through Partnership2Gether (formerly Partnership 2000), a joint program with the Jewish Agency For Israel (JAFI).
“We saw it as a way to get people individually connected with our kids, on a personal basis,” says Kessel. “Through ‘twinning’ their children with our kids, or the entire family with our kids, we now have ‘twins’ of all ages, same-aged kids, families, and even elderly people.”
When someone requests to sponsor a child, they are asked for a minimum donation of $250 for the year, which is used in part to help the child. The sponsor receives a photo and biography of the child, and Rachel Kessel sets up a correspondence connection between the two sides, helping with translation back and forth.

“It was a really big deal that Michal’s mother came to the bat mitzvah,” notes Ann Pava.“At the time, Michal and her two brothers were all living at the Center – this is a testimony to the good work that the Center does with families,” says Ann Pava (far right), pictured here with the bat mitzvah girls, Devorah (left) and Michal, and Michal’s mother, Miriam Primanor (far left).

“The children knock on our door all the time to ask if they got a letter or email,” Shlomo says. “The relationship becomes a very real thing,” and can take many different configurations. Most sponsors send a birthday gift every year; others also send regular correspondence; many visit the center.
“There have been instances where the relationship has become so strong, the child has become part of the family,” Kessel says. “The family comes to the center to celebrate a bar or bat mitzvah and invites their sponsored child to take part, or even to do a double bar/bat mitzvah.”
In Connecticut, sponsors range from families with young children to residents of the Jewish Home for the Elderly in Fairfield.
Devorah Pava of West Hartford celebrated her bat mitzvah with Michal, her “twin,” in July 2008 at the center, at a celebration hosted by Devorah’s parents, Jeremy and Ann Pava.
“Having our daughter’s bat mitzvah at the Sarah Herzog Children’s Center was not only meaningful for our daughter Devorah, but was probably the most meaningful experience we have ever had as a family,” says Ann. “Quite honestly, we originally felt as if we were the ones doing the mitzvah – pairing Devorah with a girl who lived at the center and making a beautiful bat mitzvah for a girl who would not have had one otherwise.  But instead, we actually felt as though we were the recipients of the center’s generosity and kindness.
“On the day of the bat mitzvah, our entire family was welcomed with open arms into a beautifully transformed cafeteria with balloons and decorations; music was playing, delicious hot food was being served. Devorah was met and embraced by Michal as she entered the room and was soon surrounded by the

Les Novis was among a group of residents of The Jewish Home for the Elderly in Fairfield who visited with their “adopted” children at the center while on a recent group trip to Israel.

Emunotes — a singing group made of young girls who live at the center — who were dressed in colorful costumes and danced her into the room and the party began!  It was the most joyful experience for our family and for the residents of the center.”
Bonnie and Manny Lobel of Trumbull first hosted the Emunotes 10 years ago when the group came to perform at Congregation B’nai Torah in Trumbull.
“The organizers were looking for kosher homes within walking distance of the synagogue,” says Bonnie. “When I told my husband that we would be hosting up to nine girls, he said ‘You’re nuts.’ But this turned out to be the beginning of a wonderful experience.”
In time, other host families came forward, but the Lobels open their home to the group and to Kessel ever since.
“I decided to get involved because I never thought that what the children have gone through happens to Jewish children,” Bonnie says. The Lobels sponsor Bar, now 16, who recently moved back home with her sister. The couple has made two volunteer trips to the center and plans a third in October.
“We’ve developed such a close relationship with the children,” Bonnie says. “I always send them gifts, and when we come to the center, they are all waiting for us at the entrance gate.”
Larry and Debbie Rehr of Weston wanted to do something special when their son, Stefan, was approaching bar-mitzvah age. In 2008, they called on Steven Friedlander, executive director of UJA/Federation Westport Weston Wilton Norwalk. Friedlander connected the family with Kessel, who twinned Stefan with Aviv.
“It’s real people and real kids,” says Larry. “The way I look at it, these children from very broken homes and very tragic circumstances will either be a burden on or an asset to Israeli society. The Center is doing a fantastic job in the latter, taking these kids from troubles and problems to being assets to the society at large. We’ll always be involved with Aviv.”
Since then, Aviv has become a Rehr, says Kessel. The family has brought him to the U.S. three times for vacations, and helped him land a volunteer position at a regional Jewish summer camp. “This is a relationship that will last indefinitely,” Kessel says. “The Rehrs have turned a life around.”

The Center’s director, Shlomo Kessel

So far, b’nai mitzvah from Beth Hillel Synagogue in Bloomfield, Congregation Beth El in Fairfield, Congregation B’nai Torah in Trumbull, Temple Sholom in Greenwich, and The Conservative Synagogue in Westport have participated in the twinning program.
“These friendships give the families a feeling that they’re making a real difference,” says Kessel. “The attention and personal relationship are very significant to our kids and are making a true impact on a self-esteem level: here is somebody who knows they exist, takes the time to write, call, and visit – even though they live overseas. Many of our children were mistreated before they came to the center. These relationships make them feel very respected and connected.”
“You don’t have to go to Israel to do a bat mitzvah twinning at the center, says Ann Pava. “It is still a lovely thing to do, even from afar. Shlomo Kessel will make sure that the girl or boy a family twins with has a very special bat or bar mitzvah.
However, for families planning to travel to Israel to celebrate that simcha, either at the Kotel or at Masada or someplace like that, they might like to reconsider and go to the Children’s Center. It is an experience like no other.”

For more information, contact Ellin Yassky,  East Coast liaison, The Emunah Sarah Herzog Children’s Center, (203) 581-0395,
Ellin.Emunah@yahoo.com.