Rabbi Seth & Sherri Mandell to visit Newtown

By Lee Lasher

My father, Howard Lasher, grew up on the corners of Suffolk and Houston Streets on Manhattan’s Lower East Side.

It was not an easy childhood. His dad, Louis, died when my father was only three, so it was just my dad and my grandmother, Ida, living together in a tiny apartment, making ends meet. My father was always a hard worker, and by the time he was 14 he already worked part time.

One of his jobs was a delivery boy for a jewelry store. He lost this job on the day of Don Larsen’s perfect game in the 1956 World Series. It seems that my dad was to deliver a wedding ring for a wedding taking place that day, but he got sidetracked watching the perfect game on television, standing outside a storefront, one of a crowd of ecstatic fans. He did not make it to the wedding on time, and despite the historic game it seems that neither the storeowner nor the bride and groom were pleased.

After attending the City University of New York (CUNY) at night, my father landed a position in the mail room of a Wall Street firm. It was the start of a very successful 40-plus year career. In 1980 my father decided to invest in a country home, but he did not want to buy in the Hamptons because he wanted a more serene, peaceful country atmosphere. He wanted his house to be at least metaphorically a long way from the sidewalks and concrete of Seward Park High School and the Lower East Side.

My father found this country refuge in Newtown, Conn. There were rolling hills, farms, ponds, birds, and wildlife galore. I remember the first time he took me to see it. It almost felt as if it were out of a fairy tale. In fact, my father once invited a friend whom he had not seen for some time to visit him there. The friend called him, an hour late already, and said, “I can’t find your home, Howard. I followed your directions but I drove into some park and had to turn around.”

The park was his home.

All of this was shattered in December 2012, with the Sandy Hook school shootings and the murder of 26 beautiful souls — 20 children and six adult educators. My father was heartbroken. His special country refuge was shattered. But then the community rallied together in so many ways. My dad and others worked so hard to bring people together, to help them find resilience and strength.

As a board member of the Koby Mandell Foundation and a close friend of Rabbi Seth and Sherri Mandell, I knew the Mandells could offer love, support, and practical guidance and advice. Friends of mine in Englewood thought the same thing, and immediately started to call me, asking when we could get the Mandells to visit Newtown.

The Mandells’ 13-year-old son, Koby, was murdered in an unimaginable act of violence in the Jerusalem hills 12 years ago.  Since then, they have devoted their lives to helping survivors and the families of victims of similar violence in Israel and around the world. The Mandells have developed an approach to helping children cope with loss and trauma in the safety of summer camp programs.  They also offer support and therapy groups for grieving parents.  They do this work through a charitable foundation established in their son’s name.  The programs of the Koby Mandell Foundation are well respected and have been used as models in other regions touched by violence.

“Our point is to touch people, give people tools, and give a Jewish perspective on how we have transformed tragedy,” said Sherri Mandell, who reached out to the Newtown community shortly after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. You can read her letter, “Ten Ways to Help The Grieving Newtown Families From a Mother Who Knows,” at Times of Israel (www.timesofisrael.com) and search for her name.

The upcoming visit of Rabbi Seth and Sherri Mandell to Newtown is well-timed, as the town and the wider community continue to learn how best to help those who are reeling from grief and trauma. Congregation Adath Israel of Newtown and the Newtown Interfaith Clergy Association are co-sponsoring the Mandells’ talk on Sunday, May 5, at 4:30 pm.  The talk – “Building Resilience After Tragedy: A Guide for the Individual and the Community” – will be held at Adath Israel, 115 Huntingtown Road. The program is free and open to the public.

Lee Lasher and family

Lee Lasher is co-managing director and co-owner of Amlon Resources Group LLC, an international raw materials trading and environmental management company. In addition to his work on behalf of the Koby Mandell Foundation, he is president of Congregation Ahavath Torah in Englewood, and co-founder of Unite4Unity, a grassroots, volunteer-driven organization that seeks to create opportunities for Jews of all affiliations, as well as the unaffiliated, to interact and build relationships. He is currently a Fellow in the Berrie Fellows Leadership Program. He lives in Englewood, N.J. with his wife Cheryl and their three children.

Readers are invited to submit original work on a topic of their choosing to KOLOT. Submissions should be sent to judiej@jewishledger.com