By Paul Lewis

When I told people I was going to Israel for 10 days, many (including my wife) asked if I was crazy.  Why go into a war zone?  Some asked if I have family in Israel. “Yes,” I responded, “about 7 million.”  

I love my retired life, full of golf, tennis, and grandkids. But watching what’s happened in Israel since October 7th left me feeling hopeless and helpless. Evidently, the Talmudic teaching Kol Yisrael arevim zeh bazeh, meaning All Jews are responsible for one another, had taken hold deep in my heart and brain.  It was time to make it a full-body commitment.  

So, it was an easy decision to join a volunteer mission to Israel. Organized by the Jewish Federation of Greater Hartford, we harvested fruit, sorted donated clothing and received briefings from journalists and Israel’s Foreign Ministry. Many have asked me to share some personal reflections.  Like all things about Israel, it’s complicated and sometimes contradictory.  

Broken

Israel and Israelis are broken. Shattered. It would be hard to overstate the depth of the trauma, anger and existential fear felt by every Israeli since October 7. And that continues to this day, day 125…130… for the hostages still in Gaza.  Israelis talk about little else. It’s the only thing in newspapers or on TV news. Banners with the names and photographs of the hostages drape buildings all over Israel. Virtually everyone wears a yellow ribbon or metal ID tag that says “Our heart is hostage in Gaza” and “Bring them home now.” 

In such a small country no one escapes the horror untouched. More than one Israeli told me when they see a neighbor on the street they have to stifle the instinct to ask “How are you?” because, well, that’s a foolish question.

The destruction we saw at Kibbutz Kfar Aza was astonishing. The bullet holes on homes are now covered by large photographs of the people killed inside. Not just killed, they were slaughtered. Butchered. Mutilated. Brutally raped. We know because Hamas gleefully recorded video of the massacres along with their phone calls bragging to their mothers about how many Jews they killed.  It’s difficult to wrap your head around such barbarism.  

Betrayal

Beyond the sadness and anger, Israelis feel deeply betrayed. On multiple levels. They feel betrayed by the Palestinians who every day crossed the Gaza border to earn their living by working side by side with Israelis in nearby towns and kibbutzim. Some of those workers provided information and hand-drawn maps showing Hamas where to attack with the most devastating results.  

The victims and hostages from those border communities were, by and large, left-leaning Israeli peace activists.   They lived in the so-called Gaza Envelope to fulfill Ben Gurion’s vision of making the desert bloom and also to be near the Palestinians, to create interactions, to take them to Israeli hospitals for treatment, to build bridges. 

Even worse, Israelis feel betrayed by their government which failed its most important responsibility to protect its citizens. The entire Zionist dream and purpose is to protect Jews in their own home.  No longer would Cossacks ride into Jewish villages on horseback to brutalize, kill and rape.  This time they came on motorcycles and pickup trucks.  

The entire conception that Israel’s mighty army, advanced intelligence gathering and the high-tech Gaza border fence would deter, alert and protect against a Hamas attack was just wrong.  Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s funding of Hamas under the theory they would be incentivized to build up Gaza rather than attack Israel was just wrong.  Leaving too few soldiers to defend the people in the Gaza Envelope was just wrong.  Ignoring warnings that the fight over “judicial reform” was taking Israel’s eyes off security needs was just wrong. In several Jerusalem neighborhoods I saw graffiti that said “F*** Bibi.”

Yet Netanyahu remains in power, unlikely to resign even after the war.  It’s quite possible he could survive a post-war election because of Israel’s parliamentary election system, where citizens vote for a party, not an individual, and a coalition of parties is necessary to form a government.  Israel is complicated.

(P)TSD

Mental health professionals are deeply worried about the entire society suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, really, it’s too early to talk about PTSD because there is nothing “post” about it. The trauma is still current, and deepening with each casualty and each additional day of captivity.  

Mt. Herzl

There is a new section of the military cemetery on Mt. Herzl. A hillside covered with trees just five months ago is now filled with graves of young soldiers, fallen while defending their country.  Waving in the breeze above one grave were two gold helium balloons, both the number 2.  Family and friends had come to mark what would have been his 22nd birthday.

Hostages Square

Hostages Square in Tel Aviv, in the shadow of the Defense Ministry, is dominated by a long, beautifully set Shabbat table with empty chairs waiting for the hostages. Nearby, a 40 yard tunnel has been constructed to give a sense of what it must be like for those held prisoner under Gaza.  Walking through it is eerie and disturbing.  

I met an old woman in the Square from Kibbutz Nahal Oz, which was the scene of some of the most brutal attacks. She was telling stories about her family and neighbors still being held in Gaza, putting personalities to the names and photographs on the omni-present posters. In my halting Hebrew I asked if I could give her a hug. She stood up and said “tamid” – always.  We embraced and both of us cried.

Hostages or Hamas

Immediately after the October 7 pogrom, Prime Minister Netanyahu announced Israel’s two-fold goal: the eradication of Hamas and the safe return of all the hostages.  

Israelis are split on which of the two goals should take priority. We know already that not all of the hostages will come home safely.  Some died of their initial injuries, others have been killed in captivity. At least 30 of the remaining 134 are believed to be dead and who knows what those still alive are enduring. It makes the daring rescue of two hostages on Feb 12 a small bright spot.  

Most of the hostage families, and half the country, say the government must now do whatever needs to be done to bring them home. If that means negotiating a lopsided exchange for Palestinian prisoners, like the three-for-one November hostage deal, so be it. Hostage families also are worried the captives could be injured or killed in Israeli attacks.

Others argue the eradication of Hamas must take priority over a potentially too costly deal that weakens Israel and invites a repeat massacre and more hostage taking. They point to the 2011 deal when Israel released more than 1,000 Palestinian prisoners for one soldier. Among those released in that deal was Yahya Sinwar, now leader of Hamas and the mastermind of October 7.   

And yet, can Hamas ever really be eradicated? Even if it’s possible to cripple or kill its military and political leadership, the ideology of Hamas is certain to live on and reconstitute itself.  

It’s a no-win balancing act. In Israel, contradictory things are true and right at the same time.  

Shrinking Israel

Israel is shrinking. More than 200,000 Israelis are now evacuees. They have been forced from their homes in the south and also from the north where Hizbollah rockets from Lebanon have made living there also unsafe.  

“Being in a hotel for a few nights can be fun,” I was told in a hotel elevator conversation, “but five months, all the family in one hotel room, it’s hard, especially with no end in sight.”  

“I don’t think non-Israelis understand,” a kibbutz mom explained.  “Every day we got a dozen rockets from Gaza. We became used to it. It was just our life, a discomfort, like rainy days in the winter. Time to go to the safe room. All clear, now back to life.”  

That nonchalance is over now. Most are desperate to return home but they will not stay unless Hamas and their rockets are disabled and the Israeli government beefs up security. 

Unity and Determination

Despite the disillusion and disagreements, an amazing unity and determination has emerged now in Israel. It’s astonishing because the country was pulling itself apart over judicial reform prior to October 7. An IDF commander told me, “It’s too tight inside a tank for those arguments.” Israelis are focused, all pulling in the same direction now, fighting a just war they didn’t start and don’t want.

Israeli citizens have found ways to accomplish what the government was not — and is not — doing.  Israel’s high-tech sector organized rides for reservists to their army bases. Civilian agencies appeared overnight to collect, sort and distribute literally tons of clothing donated for evacuees. Civic spirit overflows. Individuals are stepping up to do whatever needs doing.

Resilience may be the most heard word in Israel these days. Everyone knows they are on a road to recovery that will be long and difficult. But Israelis are strong. They have a shared purpose.  They believe in the miracle and legitimacy of their contentious, flawed and exceptional nation. They are determined to not just bounce back but to bounce forward. After all, what choice does Israel have?    

The Future 

The long-term prospect for Israeli-Palestinian peace seems grim. This war has hardened hearts on both sides. Gaza has been leveled and the death toll of 27,000 is staggering. Even if the estimates are correct that 10,000 of those killed were Hamas fighters, the deaths of innocent civilians caught in the crossfire is heartbreaking and certain to increase Palestinian resentment and hatred of Israel.  

After the massacre, Israelis are asking: How can anyone live next door to people who have pledged to wipe you off the face of the earth? Three weeks after the attack, Ghazi Hamad, a top Hamas leader, said the October 7 massacre “is just the first time and there will be a second, a third, a fourth…”  Jews have had some experience with people who are committed to our destruction. It seems prudent to believe them.  

So what’s the answer? Something has to change because whatever we’ve had is not working. A two-state solution?  Easy to say, hard to make a reality. 

Israelis point out there have been many opportunities for a two-state solution, beginning with the 1947 UN partition plan. The Jews said yes, the Arabs said no. To Ehud Barak’s offer at Camp David in 2000, Arafat said no. To Ehud Olmert’s two-state offer in 2008, Mahmoud Abbas said no.  No and no counter proposals. 

Israel is often criticized as the impediment to a two-state solution. Netanyahu’s right-wing government clearly has no interest in such a plan now. But it’s equally clear that Hamas is not interested either, now or ever. It’s not just words on paper when the Hamas charter calls for the obliteration of Israel to make way for an Islamic Palestinian state from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. 

It’s fair to ask Israel if it is willing to do the hard things necessary to bring peace. It also would be fair to ask that question of the Palestinians, yet it seems never to be asked. All of this leaves many Israelis wondering if Palestinians are more committed to destroying the Jewish state than they are to establishing a state of their own.  

It seems likely it will take years, perhaps a generation, to recover enough from the Simhat Torah massacre and Gaza war. Certainly, new leadership will be needed on all sides for there to be any progress toward a permanent solution. Exactly who that might be is just not known.

So, is there any reason for hope? It’s hard to see any right now, but we were reminded several times by historians and journalists that it took six years after the 1973 Yom Kippur war for a peace treaty to be signed between Israel and Egypt, and another 15 years for Israel and Jordan to sign a peace treaty. The recent opening of relations with several Arab states with the Abraham Accords is significant.

Gratitude

Every Israeli I talked with, academics, soldiers and victim families, were effusively grateful and genuinely moved by our visit. Many seem to have a new appreciation of the benefits and necessity of diaspora Jewry. They promised they would be OK, but were worried about us facing increased antisemitism in the US.  

I’m not certain our few days of picking oranges and strawberries and sorting donated clothing amounted to a truly significant impact for Israel but I am certain it was good for us to get our hands dirty and do something for Israel during her time of need. I’m grateful I am able to bear witness.  

I come away from my 10-day visit to Israel with realism, caution and a little bit of hope. Because life without hope would be too difficult to endure and because having hope seems like a very Jewish thing to do.

Paul Lewis was a TV journalist and news executive for more than 30 years.  He spent 10 years as the News Director at WTIC-TV/Fox 61, and later worked at the Jewish children’s book program, PJ Library, for 12 years. He is now retired.  He and his wife Bonnie Hittleman-Lewis, the former Director of Recreation and Wellness at the Mandell JCC, split their time between Sarasota, FL and the Hartford area.

PHOTOS: Israel Reflections , Paul Lewis

CAP: Paul Lewis (front left) and the group of Hartford volunteer in Israel sort fruit

CAP: Members of the Hartford volunteer group (L-R, Larry Berson, Jeff Landau, David Waren. ) sort potatoes.

CAP: The volunteers visited a home destroyed in Kfar Aza. thA poster wi name and photo of a young Israel girl murdered stands outside the home.

CAP: Paul met an elderly womanI in Hostage Square from Kibbutz Nahal Oz, which was the scene of some of the most brutal attacks. After she shared with him her horrific story, the two embraced and both cried.

CAP: A Shabbat table set for the hostages still in captivity.